Going it alone

If there's one thing you can lose sight of when in a relationship it's appreciating your own company- that and whose black socks are whose. Seriously annoying when you realise you're wearing one of your socks and one baggy man sock. Back to the bit about doing stuff on your own though. I am all about spending quality time with nothing but the Kardashians and some calorific food for company, what I struggle with though is doing stuff on my own in public.

I know a few people who frequent the movies on their own which isn't so bad because it's dark (not that I've EVER tried it mind you) but what about having a couple drinks or even a whole dinner on your own? I just don't know if I could do it. Although, I did come close the other night. Work had a spare ticket to the show Walking with Dinosaurs. Free food, free booze and mint seats. There was just one thing missing- a second ticket. I was offered the pass after a few other more important (and like minded people it seems) had already declined. It took some thinking but the little girl inside me who was mildly obsessed with Jurassic Park in the nineties told me to suck it up for a change.

So suck it up I did...after emailing the girl who gave me the ticket several times to see if anyone had backed out at the last minute. I've been to a few client functions and usually the turn out rate is 80% at best. It seems Dinosaurs really get people off their asses though. Everyone came. So there I was, out on my own, at a family show about reptiles. Awesome.

You know what though, it actually was awesome. I made an effort to speak to every client and their family. Ofcourse it helped that I had a cheeky Pinot on hand to dull the usual pain that small talk incurs but still, this was a big step for me! Dinner was a tad awkward as I couldn't decide which table to sit at. Instead I pulled up a bar stool and sat by myself. Cue constant fiddling on phone and avoiding eye contact with everyone else. This was followed by another big moment where I volunteered to be seated first. I figured one of the ten or so people coming with me would be sitting on either side of me but no. I had to endure a few excruciating minutes of sitting in a seat surrounded by empties.

At this point, you're probably in one of two camps. You're either thinking I should grow the hell up or that you too would be rummaging in your bag or pretending to text. I really do have a lot of respect for those of you in the first group and don't worry, I am well aware of how pathetic this all sounds. I'm confident though that this is something that I'll grow out of. Surely this is simply a remnant from my teenage years spent worrying about what everyone else thinks of me.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that one day I'll wake up and won't care anymore. Perhaps when my life is consumed by a family demanding every waking moment of my time then I won't think twice about a solo vino down the local. Or maybe I'll only be able to look back and wish that I'd spent more time actually enjoying 'Me time' when I had the chance. I'm thinking probably the latter.

So here's to indulging in guilty pleasures without the guilt because there's only yourself to judge. Yes, I'll have a large popcorn, boysenberry choc top and one ticket to The Smurfs in 3D please.