This past weekend Tom (the boyfriend) and I sacrificed boozing and the Home and Away omnibus in favour of learning! I know, I'm suprised at myself too. We took part in a two day screenwriting course for a bit of fun and something different. It was really interesting and has definately woken up a part of my brain I haven't used since Uni which is cool, BUT I have to admit the decision to go was not made lightly. You see by taking part in the course I was becoming what used to be the bane of my University existence- a mature student (dun dun dun).
If you've done any tertiary study (and particularly if you studied arts) I'm sure you'll agree that mature students are the worst. I know how ageist that sounds but I'm not discriminating against all older people who choose to pick up an interest paper or two. No, mature students are a certain breed all of their own.
You can pick them pretty easy. They're the ones who sit up the front of every lecture and disrupt class frequently to ask inane questions in an attempt to sound intelligent. The ones who actually read all of the readings rather than skimming over them before a tutorial. The ones who shush you when you dare to so much as ask your neighbour for a pen. The ones who wear sneans.
So it was with some hesitation that I embarked on the course...and I was right to be worried. The first person to arrive was wearing an ankle length knitted cardigan embroidered with a gigantic ghastly flower and...sneans. This woman ticked all the boxes. My judging hat was well and truly on.
Funnily enough this one was the lesser of several evils in the class. There was this one dude (with a hairstyle that screamed "acknowledge I am different!!") who felt the need to voice his opinion loudly, frequently and almost always over the top of the poor lecturer. Not only that, but he felt that we all really needed to know that he just"didn't get" Friends, or American Beauty or (insert several other excellent examples of screenwriting).
Sigh.
I'd like to say that he won the award for most annoying in the class but unfortunately not so. THE mature student of the class happened to sit right.next.to.me.
This one was American and began class by declaring she was tired of people thinking that she was Canadian (said with a deadly serious tone and followed by a filthy look that could only reflect how she saw us- as ignorant New Zealanders). It was a really nice icebreaker and a charming way to introduce one's self to a room full of strangers. Ahem.
Day one of this woman wasn't nearly as bad as day two. Funnily enough she had a very negative view of how the course was going and it was simply not what she had signed up for. Finger tapping, loud sighing and thrusting her head into her desk ensued...seriously. I had to strongly resist the temptation to tell her that it wasn't actually compulsory that she stay but I didn't really want to engage her in any sort of conversation.
Luckily Tom was there so I had someone to exchange looks of disbelief and roll my eyes with. There was also a great moment where this woman tried to bag the movie 'The Blind Side', as a unrealistic portrayal of America in the 60's. Tom took great pleasure in informing her that it was actually set just a few years back and that in fact, the man who it's based on (Michael Oher) currently plays for the NFL. It was definately a high five moment.
To be honest, this woman was just not good at life. Any suspicions were confirmed when she donned prescription sunglasses at the beginning of class due to a contact lens malfunction caused by a perfume-in-the-eye debacle that morning. Oh dear.
But despite these um...colourful characters I still came out of the course feeling inspired and like I'd learnt many things, number one being Uni lecturers may just be the most tolerant people on the planet.
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