Welcome to the first Twenty Something Syndrome blog post...and my first blog post ever actually- exciting times! First off I suppose I should define my affliction...
twenty something syndrome:
- noun
typified by a sense of impending obligation to make important life decisions coupled with an intense desire to postpone doing so.
My name is Amanda, I'm 24 years old and I suffer from TSS. As a result of this I guess you could say I'm at a crossroads in life...I just can't decide which direction to go in. Lazy? totally. Comfortable? yep. Fulfilled? nup- well not yet...hence the TSS.
So, a quick idea of where I'm at in the scheme of things. I have a steady job, steady boyfriend and pretty much steady life really. I moved to Auckland from Wellington last December...for love. I can feel you smirking as you read that last bit but I'm one of the lucky people who has followed their heart with absolutely no regrets- eight or so months on I might add. We even live together (a first for both of us who have previously been more than hesitant when it comes to cohabitation- a typical TSS symptom). Okay so I did have a job to go to also (ever the risk taker) but that so ruins the romanticism of it all and to be honest I'm proud of the decision because it was a change and a challenge.
It was actually said love who inspired me to write this blog. We were having one of our 'can't even remember why we're fighting in the first place' arguments the other evening when the TSS reared it's ugly head. I was complaining about being unsatisfied with life and he simply asked me what I wanted to do about it. Try as I might I couldn't answer him. I came to the realisation that at this point, I actually don't know what I want. This led to more frustration and the silent treatment from me (mature for my age obviously...).
This brings me to the most annoying thing about suffering from TSS. As much as you may want to, you just can't feel completely sorry for yourself...for a number of reasons really.
1- you're young and let's face it probably the best looking you're going to be (unless you're destined silver fox material)
2- you can afford to be utterly selfish with your income (you know this when purchases from bars, dairies and restaurants make up 80% of your transactions)
and most importantly...
3- you probably already have the ability to change your situation for yourself- you're just, well...not.
This blog is something I've been putting off for a while so I figured I may as well get my shit together and just do it. What's been delaying the process is that I've never had a 'topic' as such. So I reckon I may as well just write about what I know and what I know is the pressure of being a twenty something. It is probably the scariest and most exciting age you can be because the decisions you make now are likely to be the ones that shape the rest of your life (as much as your seventh form guidance counsellor may have tried to convince you otherwise).
I hope you'll be able to relate to my personal account of a (let's face it, tragically ordinary) twenty something's life. And if for nothing else then reading this blog can serve as a way to procrastinate 'real' life just a little longer...
Pah, and even fie I comment upon your post! If you will allow me to play the devils advocate for a moment, I shall make the following amendment to your premise!
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow fellow who would be prime material to be diagnosed with your "twenty something syndrome", I feel that it is an unfair characterization! Your inability to describe you dissatisfaction with your lifestyle stems not from a problem with yourself, but a problem with society!
To investigate this further, consider the following of the attributes you assigned to your life: laziness, comfort and fulfillment. The first two are qualities that you yourself define,but the third is a judgement brought upon you by society as a "being." That is to say that society sets the rules for what counts as a fulfilling life, such as success in employment, having a family, owning property, or whatever. The first frustrating thing about this setup is that since "society" is not a entity that you can engage with in its entirety, just its discrete parts, it can feel impossible to influence those standards you are being compelled to live up to.
As regards the being unable to decide what would fulfill, this is because society is broken: this is not only my idea, the term "late-capitalist society" has been thrown around recently. Society now no longer has a firm enough construct that we can judge ourselves against, and so we feel uncertain.
Whether or not this is a good thing is a matter for some discussion.
Anyway, hopefully the comment isn't too long, and if it is, it will teach you one thing:
Fear the drunk academic.